Forgiving Yourself

Stephen F. Fusco - Blog 5

My final reflection for the first semester of the leadership program concerns perfectionism.  As someone who spent his entire educational life aiming for the top and engaging in highly competitive programs, the notion of perfectionism is something that is not lost on me.  Whether it be a discussion blog, an assignment, a paper, or an exam, I was not satisfied with anything less than an A.  As a teacher and leader, I teach my students and staff to be gentle and let go of the small stuff.  Yet I can't seem to do the same thing myself.  I am dual enrolled in the Tier I program and the EdD program.  Additionally, I am a GRA and I work a full-time job.  I am also involved in a relationship which requires nurturing.  This leaves little time for me.  This must change for my own health and sanity.  This journey is a marathon, not a race.

If this were a note to myself, I would offer myself the following advice regarding this journey.

  • Remember to invest time in your support network.  If you expect to lean on them for support during the difficult journey, they need to be on top of their game!
  • Invest your energy wisely.  Work smarter not harder.  Several of the professors told us that sometimes a B is good for you...life happens, jobs happen, stuff happens and pushing all of those things aside to try and make an A may not be worth it.  The grade does not speak to your worth as a person.  Additionally, getting an A and losing your job or family seems a little short sighted, right??!!
  • Be gentle on yourself.  I am my own harshest critic and I can find more ways to criticize myself rather than love myself.  Focusing on the things that I am doing right helps me balance all of the pressures and demands of life.  I also start each day by writing down one thing I am grateful for in a gratitude journal. 
  • Forgive yourself!  No one is perfect and it's through life's challenges that we learn lessons.  Rumi once said, "the wound is the place where the light enters you."  Let this be your lesson.  Learn from each experience and let it go.  Perfection should not be an aspirational goal.'

I hope to look back on this advice often and grow my list over time!  For now, I allow myself to close out Chapter 1 with the dignity and pride it deserves.  I accomplished a lot!

Comments

  1. UnknownJuly 18, 2017 at 8:45 AM

    "Be gentle on yourself. I am my own harshest critic and I can find more ways to criticize myself rather than love myself. Focusing on the things that I am doing right helps me balance all of the pressures and demands of life. I also start each day by writing down one thing I am grateful for in a gratitude journal."

    This is such an awesome idea! I typically try to write at night and it just never gets done b/c I'm tired. I'm trying to create a better morning routine for the coming school year that includes NO technology whether it be email, social media, etc. This seems like a great place to start! Thanks for the idea!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Comment from Dr. Sauers

After reading posts on this blog and a few others I monitor, I wanted to provide some general feedback. Please put your name at the top of each blog.   Be sure to edit carefully!   Remember the blog guidelines ( here ).  Posts should be 300-500 words. Post about things you are truly passionate about and/or things you have questions about.  This is a reflection blog! Happy writing, Dr. Sauers
Read more

Reflection

Camilla C. Moss Blog 4 I found out I was accepted into the Tier 1 add-on program on a Wednesday.   I registered for classes three days later and began classes two days after that.   The first day of class, I flew to Chapel Hill, North Carolina to attend a meeting and conference for work.   My first assignment was due the day I flew home and the evening of my daughter’s Spring Band concert.     I had no idea how I was going to manage the course work, my work and family.    This experience was so completely different from when I was last in school.   My time is already limited by my responsibilities and I was afraid that I couldn’t give my coursework the time and effort it required.   I learned quickly that the only way that I would be successful in this program was to focus on one thing at a time.   I had to learn to do the things that are important right now.   I couldn’t help but reflect on When I heard Greg McKeown discu...
Read more

Organization...not my strong suit!

Beth Maffei Organization is something I struggle with EVERY. SINGLE. DAY!  I start out every school year with the thought in mind that this will be the year that I am super organized.  Papers from meetings will be filed. Student papers will be assessed and commentary done in a timely manner.  When copies are made, hard copies will be immediately filed.  There won't be stacks of paper, books, folders, etc. just laying around. I have a plan and I start out strong.  But then reality sets in and by October the classroom looks like a war room! I know where everything is but it looks like a disaster!  And it drives me crazy. I also have plans for organizing my time in a more efficient manner. I have a paper calendar, an online school calendar and a google calendar.  I won't double book. I won't be late. I won't forget that something is due.  I start out strong and then it's October and I'm consistently checking calendars and/or double booking. ...
Read more